Low impact blah blah blah

Welcome to the Late Night Show with Emily Walker. Why is this post a day late? I'm lazy. Simple as that. So what am I going to do for this trivial low impact challenge?

1. Walk anywhere under 2 miles

2. Turn off all the lights that ought not be on

3. No new bags

4. Recycle anything recyclable.


I've been doing this since 3:00 yesterday. How's it going? Easily. Why? Because that's how my life is structured anyways. "But what do you mean by that?"

1. I walk to school and home, because those are the only two places I go because I suck.

2. I don't like leaving lights on that don't need to be on.

3. I don't effing buy things and my mom has a stockpile of reusable bags

4. We're a recycling family.

So why am I not doing something harder? Well let me so kindly explain.

I refuse to give up Narcissus (my computer) because I suck and have nothing else to do. I don't watch a lot of T.V as is, nor do I ever get phone calls. I can't go all local foods/no processed foods because doing that is a heckuva lot harder when you've got a family of 6. Besides, my sister's birthday is tomorrow and I'm not going to deny my mother a cake mix. "It's Sara Lee."

I'm not giving up meat, Mrs. Plath. Not even pork. If I do, I'd get sick. I mean it; my diet is kind of slim and without meat I'd starve and become an emaciated thing. Plus, we're a meat family. Chicken, burgers, steak, pork, and bacon.

Why no shaving? Because as a female, it would be socially unacceptable. I wouldn't be able to wear shorts. Why not? Two words: Red. Hair. Figure it out.